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Hairline Recovery Program — Step 1: Acceptance

$18.99 USD
Because denial isn’t a growth strategy.
Welcome to the world’s most honest self-help group — where we don’t promise follicles, we promise freedom. Each off-white cap is your membership badge to the bald brotherhood of serenity, proudly stitched in medical-grade red for that authentic “clinically hopeless but emotionally stable” look.
Wear it to therapy, the gym, or your mirror — anywhere you’re ready to admit that maybe it’s not “receding,” it’s just retreating with dignity. Meetings every Tuesday. Attendance optional. Shine mandatory.